The Purpose Project: Moving in the Right Direction

Using Megan Hellerer’s “Directional Living” to Point Me Toward My Authentic Path

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Photo of Megan Hellerer by Tracy Dungo

When I was in elementary school, my mom collected these A5-size, spiral-bound booklets that she would fill with things from that school year — she’d add report cards and drawings and stories and school papers, and at the front, she’d have me fill out the list of prompts the booklet provided.

What was my name?
How old was I?
Who was my teacher
Who were my friends?
What did I want to be when I grew up?

My answers to all of these varied from year to year, of course — especially the answers to the last question. Some years I wanted to be an author, some years I wanted to be an actress; other years, I wanted to be a teacher. On a few occasions, I wanted to be all of the above.

These were “destinations”, certainly; far off futures that these cute little booklets were forcing me to imagine before I’d hit a double-digits age. But they were destinations I was specifically drawn to — some sense in my little body said, “Let’s go this way. This seems fun; that feels right.” They were pulling me in a certain direction, and I didn’t give it much more thought than that.

By the time I graduated high school — and definitely by the time I graduated college — these destinations had changed. Or rather, their feasibility as actual paths I could pursue had changed in my mind. Instead of following the sparks of interest that called to me, I started looking to the world around me to find the “right” destination and started working to get there.

Now, over two decades later — no matter the scope of my achievements and any outward success I’ve had — I wonder if it feels like I’ve never arrived at that “right” destination not just because of the arrival fallacy (the misconception that reaching a goal or destination will lead to lasting happiness and fulfillment), but because I picked a destination I never really wanted to reach. I ignored what my soul was calling me to do and believed that if I “played by the rules”, I’d be fulfilled. I was wrong.

I wonder if it feels like I’ve never arrived . . . because I picked a destination I never really wanted to reach. I ignored what my soul was calling me to do and believed that if I “played by the rules”, I’d be fulfilled. I was wrong.

As part of my Purpose Project this month, I read Megan Hellerer’s Directional Living, a book that is billed as “A Transformational Guide to Fulfillment in Work and Life”.

I’d agree!

I actually first bought and read Megan’s book last year after it caught my eye at Powell’s. (I recommended it back then!) I really enjoyed it, and found it to be a unique take on the usual (ahem, tired) career advice — but, as is often the case when I’m reading non-fiction, I enjoyed the read then without putting much of it into practice.

My goal this time was not just to read the book, but to complete the exercises, and take aligned action (more on that later) to bring all of my insights to life!

Megan describes directional living through its opposition to “destinational living” — or the way most of us have been taught to pursue our purpose: “Decide what you want your life to look like, come up with a ten-year plan, and then work backward to determine the most advantageous place from which to start.”

The problem, as Megan points out, is that “we cannot reverse engineer our lives, or at least not with any measure of authenticity and fulfillment.”

One could argue that destinational living is the driving force behind this very Purpose Project — my own personal attempt to force find my way toward fulfillment. But as I read, I actually found that my experiments thus far have been more rooted in what Megan espouses in the book:

“When we imagine being on our deathbeds and looking back on what mattered to us, it’s fulfillment we’re trying to bring into focus. Did I do what I came here to do? Did I show up as the truest, most authentic version of myself as often as possible?”

“When we imagine being on our deathbeds and looking back on what mattered to us, it’s fulfillment we’re trying to bring into focus. Did I do what I came here to do? Did I show up as the truest, most authentic version of myself as often as possible?” - Megan Hellerer

And in Directional Living, she offers “a brand-new paradigm for fulfillment that asks (and answers!), ‘What does a truly fulfilling life look like, and how do we find it?’”

So, what is directional living exactly? And how does it connect us to our purpose?

“Purpose is . . . a direction, not a destination. It’s your inner sense of aligned ambition, not blind ambition for an observable outcome,” says Megan. “You don’t achieve purpose; you move toward it. It’s not a specific point on a map; it’s a way of being—of being aligned, of being on purpose. Purpose acts like a verb—something you’re becoming rather than somewhere or something you are. And it’s not precious or narrow or precarious, like walking on a tightrope, where you could stumble and lose it at any moment. It’s alive and expansive.”

“You don’t achieve purpose; you move toward it.” - Megan Hellerer

I love that definition. Let’s dig into how my purpose came to life for me as I read.

What is the Purpose Project?

But before I go any further, a quick reminder: The Purpose Project is my year-long experimental attempt to articulate my purpose — at least, in this current season of my life.

Every other month since January this year, I’ve utilized a different system or framework — meaning-making systems such as astrology, Human Design, and Matrix of Destiny; guided hypnotherapy programs like those in To Be Magnetic’s programs — to come up with a personal purpose hypothesis. Then, I’ve experimented with that hypothesis the following month — sharing all of my ideas and outputs here.

The Purpose Project: Experimenting With a New Path

The plan is to continue this project through the end of the year, where I’ll share my final observations after months of deepening my own self-understanding and digging into what my purpose might look like in practice.

And it’s been a fun journey so far! I hope you’re enjoying following along, and are perhaps doing some purposeful exploration yourself :)

How does one live Directionally?

There are five phases to Megan’s Directional Living framework:

• Recognize: Identifying the Problem

• Align: Recovering Your Inner Sense of Direction

• Release: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back

• Orient: Finding Your Big Direction

• Iterate: Taking Aligned Action

For the purpose (pun intended) of this project, most of the information I needed came through in the last two phases — but I’ll quickly summarize each of them and how I worked through them.

Phase 1 - Recognize: Identifying the Problem

In the first phase, I took what Megan calls the “Fulfillment Test”. For the test, you consider a decision you’re currently deliberating, have recently made, or chose in the recent past; articulate your rationale for the decision you’re making/made; then analyze your rationale, looking for elements of the Four Os: Obligation, Objectivity, Optics, and Outcomes.

In other words:

• Are you considering what you “should” do (obligation)?

• Are you deciding based on the objectively “right” decision (objectivity)?

• Are you concerned with how your decision will look to others (optics)?

• Or are you deciding based on what your choice will get you (outcomes)?

If even just one of these Four Os are present and informing your decision-making, according to Megan, the decision is a fulfillment test fail.

I took my recent decision not to pursue an MFA in Paris through the Fulfillment Test. After analyzing my results, I wrote: “Technically, I think I considered some Obligation in my decision — which would make this a Fulfillment Test Fail. Possibly! I don’t doubt I’ve failed the test in many of my decisions, though I feel confident I made the best decision for me in this case, and there are other ways I can move myself closer to the life and career I want . . . which I hope this book will show me.”

However, to me, this step was less about determining whether a past decision was authentically fulfilling to me, so much as it showed “that we can reliably consider the rationale of just one decision to be a microcosm for our default decision-making strategy.”

Am I more likely to consider Obligation in my regular decision-making? Yeah, as a recovering people-pleaser, I’m pretty familiar with “should”-ing myself. And, at different times, with different decisions, I can see how each of the Four Os have played into some of the choices I’ve made.

I can also see how considering each of them against future decisions will be a helpful baseline for ensuring I’m moving forward based on what feels most fulfilling to me and no one else.

Phase 2 - Align: Recovering Your Inner Sense of Direction

In the second phase, Megan introduces what she calls “The Trueing Process” — or identifying what feels “directionally right” (and conversely, “directionally wrong”) in my body.

Without getting into the weeds of her process, I eventually came to learn that something directionally right feels “light and spacious” in my body, and something directionally wrong makes me feel “trapped and small”.

Though there will undoubtedly be similarities and overlaps, the point is that these specifically directionally right/wrong feelings will be unique to every individual. Once you’ve figured out these specific somatic sensations for you, you can use them to put your Inner Navigation System (INS) into practice — by considering a specific option and tuning into your body to determine whether it feels more directionally right or wrong; warmer or colder as it moves you toward your authentic purpose.

Megan suggests starting small once you’ve “trued yourself”, using the INS practice to make small decisions. I used it one night to decide that I was going to go to bed instead of watching another episode of Hacks (a tough decision!). Another night, I used it to decide which of two online courses I’ve invested in recently I would start first.

Starting with small stakes made it easier to tune into my own bodily knowing — and to trust it for more decisions, big and small, moving forward.

Phase 3 - Release: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back

In the third phase: “Our task . . . isn’t so much to find our alignment and fulfillment as it is to address all the things that are blocking us from accessing them. In other words, we must deHAYWALT our lives. Only then will our Directional Lives have enough space to unfold.”

Before I explain what a “HAYWALT” is, let me first explain that Ms. Hellerer loves an acronym. UFOA (Underfulfilled Overachiever), F-ACHE (Fulfillment Ache), HAYWALT (“How Are You Walking Around Like That?”) — they are used in abundance in this book, because, as Megan writes “there is power in naming things precisely”. Mmk.

Anyway, a HAYWALT is essentially “the misalignment(s) that we convince ourselves aren’t ‘that bad’ and therefore ignore altogether, refusing to notice the pain and discomfort they cause”. And in the Release phase of her framework, Megan walks you through how to “deHAYWALT” — because they actually are, in fact, that bad.

Here’s how she does it:

1) Identifying your HAYWALTs: Looking at everything on your calendar/taking up space in your life, and “trying on” each item or activity using your trueing process — is it aligned or is it a HAYWALT?

2) Sorting your HAYWALTs: Take everything you identified as a HAYWALT and sort it into one of three categories - Remove, Maybe, Keep Anyway.

3) DeHAYWALTing: For each HAYWALT, ask yourself, “What is the smallest action I can take to find freedom and relief?”

I won’t get into the specifics of my HAYWALTs here, but I will say I appreciated this phase because it allowed me to create space before calling something new into my life.

I think so many of us try to do more, create more, accomplish more without looking at and letting go of what’s no longer working. The deHAYWALTING process can help us do that with intention, while also keeping us from adding more HAYWALTs to our plates in the future.

Phase 4 - Orient: Finding Your Big Direction

The fourth phase is where it started getting good. Everything up to this point felt important, foundational — but phases four and five are where I began to find the directional alignment I was looking for.

In the Orient Phase, Megan takes you through five assessments:

• The Hot Spots: Five rapid-fire brainstorming prompts designed to get at your true self “hot spots”.

• Jealousy Juicing: Looking at who makes you jealous, why, and one thing you can do to have more of that thing.

• Sliding Doors: Considering, in a parallel universe, what might your alternative career and/or life be?

• The Sponsored Life: If you had an anonymous patron who invested in you and your life — how might you spend your time? What might you explore?

• Friends & Family Feedback: Think of five to 10 people who know you well, from different stages of your life. Ask them what they think you do best, what they’d say are your “superpowers”, and when — or for what — they think of your first.

Once you’ve completed every assessment, you identify your “purpose patterns”. What are the items, the activities, the themes that keep showing up again and again?

From there, you narrow the list down even further: As you review each of those purpose patterns, which feel most aligned based on your own INS? According to your trueing process, which feel most directionally right?

Phase Five - Iterate: Taking Aligned Action

In the very last phase, Megan guides readers through exactly what I’ve been doing throughout this Purpose Project — taking a hypothesis and experimenting with aligned action in that direction to gather information and inform the next steps after that.

Fun!

Read on to learn more about my upcoming aligned actions.

What I Learned About My Current Direction

Perhaps unsurprisingly, in Phase Four, three of my main purpose patterns were:

• Astrology: Learning and teaching this system to guide people to deeper self-understanding, clarity, and purposeful action.

• Writing: Learning and practicing writing as a form (and example) of personal transformation and healing.

• Creative Self-Expression: Exploring new, fun, edgy, and creative forms of self-expression and storytelling (e.g., standup comedy, public speaking).

. . . all with the overarching theme of being a lifelong student and becoming the teacher.

This was encouraging, because it’s on track with what I already know to be true for myself — thanks in no small part to this Purpose Project!

That being said, it does still feel like each of these things are on the periphery of my life. I’ve certainly taken baby steps in the direction of each, but I’m not sure I’ve yet pursued any one of them as if they were a real, purposeful priority for me . . . probably because — from a destinational perspective — they don’t seem important; they don’t seem realistic; they don’t seem like a path to success.

But looking at all of this directionally — at what actually lights me up and sends me down rabbit holes and feels like how I want to spend my time when I take off the societal goggles of what I “should” do — they all feel so right.

It feels like these things should (ha!) be a bigger priority in my life!

What I Learned About My Purpose

Directional Living was a reminder to me that finding my purpose is not about eventually articulating some exact answer. This entire project is not an exact science (obviously). And even if I can narrow in on a direction that feels right for me, I will still need to try different things, experiment with new actions and redirect, and consistently tune into myself to ensure I’m moving in the direction that’s authentic to me in any given moment — not because I picked some arbitrary destination that I have to move toward no matter what.

I think this month’s research affirmed for me that my purpose is to facilitate transformation — my own and others’ — through deepening self-understanding and creating space for self-expression. And right now, the ways I feel most called to do that are through astrology, writing, and creative self-expression like standup comedy.

But who knows? That may change in a year — or even in a few months. I don’t need to decide I am going to be a popular astrologer or award-winning author or Netflix-famous comedian today (destinational living!); I just need to move in the direction of those things right now, because right now they feel right for me.

Purpose Experiments in June

So, taking my three “Big Direction Hypotheses” from Phase Four, I noted one aligned action (or the “First Lily Pad”, as Megan calls it) that I can take toward each in June.

Big Direction Hypothesis: Guide others using astrology

→ First Lily Pad: Offer three 60-minute Career Path & Purpose astrology sessions.

Want one of those sessions? Book it HERE.

P.S. After one of my Purpose Astrology sessions this month, a client shared: “After a couple of days of letting our conversation settle, I am only now feeling ready to look back at this and woah. Thank YOU for so generously and openly delving into this with me. Our conversation happened with such potent timing for me, and is helping me more than you know, to integrate a lot of what's been on my heart lately.”

That could be you!

Big Direction Hypothesis: Write and share my personal stories

→ First Lily Pad: Write a daily essay using Narratively’s 30 Days, 30 Essay Prompts class

Big Direction Hypothesis: Experiment with new forms of creative self-expression

→ First Lily Pad: Perform standup set at local open mic night

I’ll share my “results” here on June 25th!

What about you: Would you say you’re living destinationally or directionally? If you followed Megan’s Directional Living framework, what “Big Direction” might you start moving toward today? Hit “Reply” or leave a comment and let me know!