“How can I be inclusive of all of the people within this community and the various ways that they show up in the world? At the end of the day, it comes down to not centering yourself." (Interview)
Nailah Blades Wylie on Centering the Needs of the Community, the 3-Part Framework for Inclusivity, and Finding Balance by Focusing On What You Got Done
Thank you for reading And Also, a weekly newsletter featuring personal stories and things I've learned to help you navigate life ✨!
I met Nailah Blades Wylie over a decade ago as part of an organization for young female entrepreneurs (and aspiring entrepreneurs) and was immediately inspired by her presence, her wisdom, and her vision.
While her work has evolved in the years since, her general objective remains the same: to build community, seek joy, and help women — in particular, women of color — reclaim their rightful place in their lives and in the world.
Nailah is now the founder of Color Outside — a curated travel company for ambitious women of color who are ready to create unapologetic soul stirring lives through outdoor adventure— and the author of Joyful By Nature, a book about embracing outdoor adventure as women of color.
Nailah started Color Outside as a safe place for women of color to come together and unlock where they're feeling stuck so that they can fully step into their joy and shine — work Nailah has done as a coach, a speaker, a writer, and an entrepreneur for as long as I’ve known her!
And in our interview, recorded in those early days of the pandemic, Nailah and I talked about how she's gotten comfortable with taking big leaps, how companies can do a better job creating more inclusive spaces for marginalized communities — and for anyone, really — and why it's so important to her to get outside and help other women of color find joy doing the same.
We also talk about Nailah’s three-part framework for how to be inclusive, why de-centering ourselves is the key to building better communities, what having two kids and two companies has taught her about balancing the many requests for her time and energy, and why now — maybe more than ever — it's so important to keep dreaming, and as always, so so much more.
I’ve shared just a few snippets from that conversation below, and encourage you to listen to the full episode to gain even more from Nailah’s wisdom! And if you want to learn more about Nailah’s work, visit her website, follow her on Instagram, and buy her book!
And now, on to Nailah . . .
Pay Attention to the Messages That Keep Popping Up
[In] corporate I was like, I have this perfect job, all the stuff I've been working for, I have all the stuff I should have. But I wasn't happy. So I had that feeling that was like, this is not it; you should do something else. It took me so long to get comfortable with that voice.
And in between there there was so much [thought of], well, you should be happy or you should feel grateful . . . When it's happening, it all feels really messy. And I often feel like my life — it feels like I'm in one big messy middle, where it's like I know that I'm gonna get to that other side, but I'm still kind of grappling with [my decision].
Then I usually just get to the point where I'm almost sick of thinking about [it]; I'm almost tired of myself . . . I'll look back on journal entries or little notes that I wrote to myself, and it's like, that's the same idea — and that was six months ago, a year ago, 18 months ago. So it's usually then, when I can recognize that I'm just kind of mulling over the same thing . . . that means that I need to take the leap and I need to do something about this.
. . . when I can recognize that I'm just kind of mulling over the same thing . . . that means that I need to take the leap and I need to do something about this.
The Three-Part Framework for Inclusivity
The three part framework is Respect, Reframe, and Repeat.
So the first thing is just really gaining that respect for everybody, and really approaching your business or your marketing from a human perspective. And I approach basically everything from a community perspective; how can we build community? And with that, [you remember] we're talking to human beings, individual human beings — we're not talking to demos or your target ideal avatar, or whatever it is. We're talking to humans.
For reframe, we've all been socialized in this world. So we all have very specific things that come to mind when we talk about different things or ideas about what types of people should do [what] types of things . . . How can we reframe that and expand beyond the obvious, so that we can start including other people [in that frame]?
And then the last piece is to repeat. Diversity, inclusion, equity, all of this work is never just a one and done thing. Repeated efforts get noticed. So you need to make sure that you're just continuously repeating it. And you know, sometimes you're gonna get knocked down; you're gonna do the wrong thing. And it's like, okay, how can I get back up? Apologize in a real way and keep moving forward.
. . . we're talking to human beings, individual human beings — we're not talking to demos or your target ideal avatar, or whatever it is. We're talking to humans.
Centering the Needs of Your Community
You still have to figure out — how can I be inclusive of all of the people within this community and the various ways that they show up in the world? And I think, at the end of the day, it comes down to — and this is what most things come down to — not centering yourself . . . So how can I center the needs of the community? Or if you're a brand, building a community around your brand is not about you and your sales, but how can you center the needs of the community?
So I think the more that we get outside of our individualistic viewpoint — that, as Americans, we very much have — and think more about the collective and the community, the easier these things get and the more natural it feels to be like, “Oh, okay, this is what my community is asking for, and here's how I could provide that for them.”
Finding Balance by Focusing On What You Got Done
I write these — I call them “Ta Da!” Lists. I literally write down all the stuff that I've gotten done in the day . . . Because yes, sometimes you could have these huge, these big rocks on your to-do list . . . whether it's reasonable or not for you to get it done. And then you're like, “Oh, I didn't start today, so I'm a failure.”
So I just really try and focus on what I can get done, and kind of appreciate the stuff that I have gotten done. And then I [can] start over the next day.
That's what works for me — just kind of letting a lot of stuff fall by the wayside . . . I think I just reached the point where I was like, I don't have to do all these things. Like, I don't have to do it, and I'll just be fine. I think it was just reaching that point of knowing I'm enough, and I don't have to prove myself through what I do.
I think I just reached the point where I was like, I don't have to do all these things. Like, I don't have to do it, and I'll just be fine. I think it was just reaching that point of knowing I'm enough, and I don't have to prove myself through what I do.
On Modeling the Best Version of Yourself to Younger Generations
When I had my daughter, just looking at the world through her eyes made me want to be so much better. I was like, I need to do my part to make sure that she grows up in a different world than I did.
I just feel like everything that I do, in the back of my head it's like, how is this going to impact the community that my kids get to grow up in — from making sure that marketing is more reflective and is more inclusive or making sure that they do have these spaces where they feel like they could really step into themselves and really step into their power or, you know, making sure that they do see a mom who's not martyring herself and not bending over backwards and killing herself. So I think that basically everything I do has really shifted because I know that I have these little eyes watching me and I know that so much of their world is created by what I do.
I think that was so profound to me to realize that the best thing I can do is just be the very best person I can be — and model that for them . . . Do I want my daughter to grow up thinking that she has to work three times as hard to get as far; to think that she needs to work a full time job and then come home and cook and clean?
Or, you know, when I look at relationships, do I want them to think that this is how relationships work or friendships or, you know, anything?
Or like you said, if you see something wrong going on in the world, do I want them to look at me just sitting back and being like, “Oh, that's a shame.” [Or] do I want them to take a more active role in what they do and how they shape our world?
So yeah, I think [becoming a mother] definitely did change everything for me.
When I had my daughter, just looking at the world through her eyes made me want to be so much better. I was like, I need to do my part to make sure that she grows up in a different world than I did.
Takeaways from My Interview with Nailah
When you're in the middle of a big life change — even if you've thought a lot about it, even if you know that it's right — it will likely still feel messy. That doesn't mean you're moving in the wrong direction. That's just life; you just have to trust that you'll get to the other side.
When you're building a new business or taking on any big endeavor in life, trust that you have the answers and know where you want to go. Try not to look outside of yourself and only rely on the “experts” to tell you what you need to do. Find what resonates with you, but also listen to yourself. And trust yourself because you always know what to do to build the business and life that is right for you.
The three-part framework for inclusivity, whether you're a big brand or an individual human, is respect, reframe, repeat — respect every human perspective, reframe what you've been socialized to believe, and repeat those efforts every damn day.
Community building — again, as brands, as companies, as individuals, as a society — comes down to not centering yourself. It comes down to understanding and prioritizing the needs of the entire community.
Sometimes balancing the many to-dos in your life means letting some things fall by the wayside. The world will not fall apart if you don't get everything done. Trust that anything important will rise back to the top and regain your attention. Focus on the most important things to get done every day. And don't forget to celebrate all of the many things you do.
Listen to the full interview with Nailah on Brave Enough to Be HERE.
Don’t Miss Next Week’s Workshop: How to Tap Into Your Creativity 🎨
Next Wednesday, I’ll be publishing our next And Also! online workshop on how to tap into your creativity!
I promise that even if you don’t consider yourself creative — perhaps especially if you don’t consider yourself creative! — you will take away something from this workshop that supports your work, your mental health, your relationships, your JOY, and more.
As always, these workshop sessions are for paid subscribers only — so make sure you upgrade to a paid subscription THIS week to access the workshop (and all past and future And Also! Workshops too). 💙