And Also! Extras | Vol. 6
Transitioning out of therapy, mapping out my life purpose, the most important lesson I've learned as a literary citizen — and a new monthly workshop series!
Thank you for reading And Also, a weekly newsletter featuring personal stories and things I've learned to help you navigate life ✨!
Happy Wednesday, happy Juneteenth, and welcome to the sixth edition of And Also! Extras — a curated monthly newsletter featuring some short stories from my life lately, the best books I’ve read over the last month, and some links from around the Internet that I thought you might enjoy as much as me!
But before I get into this week’s post . . .
*I’m going to start teaching regular workshops for paid subscribers!*
I’m so excited to share that I’m hosting the very first And Also! Workshop this weekend!
It’s gonna be a Summertime Goal-Setting Session — very apropo as it will be immediately following the summer solstice tomorrow, the full moon in Capricorn on Friday, and nearing the almost midpoint of the year in early July — and it will take place at 10am Pacific this Sunday, June 23rd.
All of the information is available to paid subscribers below — so if you want to join us this Sunday (or watch the recording later), sign up to become a paid subscriber ⬇️ and join me in designing a summer that’s intentional, purposeful, and aligned with the life you want to create!
P.S. As always, this is a long one, so you may need to read it in your browser or click “View entire message” at the bottom to make sure you catch everything!
And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming . . .
End of a Th(ERA)py
For the first time in two-and-a-half years, as of this month, I am not in therapy — and it feels . . . really good? I’m a big fan of therapy and I will advocate for it (and greater accessibility to it) for the rest of my days, but I needed a break. As I told my personal therapist, I needed an opportunity to just live.
Even without the support of a professional, I am a very self-reflective human being — like, maybe even too self-reflective sometimes. I love to articulate my feelings, to process tricky emotions, to challenge myself to show up in new and healthier ways, and for the last two+ years, both my personal therapist and our couples therapist have helped me do that in such intentional, methodical ways. It’s been incredible — and I trust myself to take the baton from here.
I also know that, should I feel myself faltering or know that I’d benefit from moving through a transition or showing up in a new way or just caring for my mental health with guidance, I will go and get the support I need.
But for now it feels really good to move into this next phase of my life confident in my own ability to care for myself and ready to put everything I’ve learned about myself and how to better move through the world these past two years into practice.
Inner Work Insights
Today is the last day of Gemini season, and Gemini rules the 12th House in my astrological chart. In astrology, the 12th House is all about the subconscious, intuition, dreams, and inner work, so these last 31 days or so have been very “looking inward” for me.
I started doing To Be Magnetic’s Summer Challenge with an accountability partner, which is a five-week challenge that includes daily hypnosis recordings, reflection questions, and step-by-step guidance that are all meant to help us work through a particular “block”.
I’m sure I’ll write more about this experience once I’m done, but it’s been really interesting to dig deeper into the root of the big block I chose to take through this challenge (“I can’t trust myself”), and everything it might hold me back from (like completing a therapeutic relationship when it’s come to a natural end!).
Just yesterday, my accountability partner reflected back to me that I seem to carry a long-held narrative that being “trustworthy” equates to showing up perfectly — and that makes sense! Growing up, that was the story reflected back to me, both in the ways I was expected to show up and the ways other people showed up (or didn’t) for me.
Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, this block steadfastly keeps me from a lot of things I want as an adult — better health (because “I can’t trust myself to stay consistent”), relational connection (“I can’t trust myself not to fuck it up”), and more money (“I can’t trust myself not to mishandle it”) just to name a few. But more on that after I finish the challenge!
I actually think the most interesting activity that’s come up for me this Gemini season is building what I’m temporarily calling my “Purpose Playbook”. Recently, I felt a strong intuitive pull to take all of my knowledge of Human Design, astrology, and the Matrix of Destiny, and cull it together into a 10-page booklet articulating my ideal career, how I can help people, how and where I work best, my natural talents, my big vision, and more according to my chart(s).
Little of it is actually telling me anything I don’t already know about what I want or what I envision for my work and life — but it is helping to act as a sort of comprehensive “North Star”; an anchor to remind me of where I am going and why, so that I can continue to orient myself toward my true purpose.
It’s been a fun little project, and a nice way to cap off all of the inner exploration I’ve done this Gemini season!
Life Lessons from Literary Citizenship
I’ve gone to three great author events at Powell’s (one of my local independent bookstores) in recent weeks — for the book releases of Nina St. Pierre, Lilly Dancyger, and Maggie Smith — and they’ve all reminded me just how restorative it is for me to be around other readers and writers.
One of the things I often hear authors talk about is being a good “literary citizen”, or celebrating the literary community and those within it. And honestly, that seems like the best gig in the world! I’ve often said that my dream job would be to just read, learn, and write all day, and I’d be happy to add “celebrate, support, and shout from the rooftops my love for other writers’ work” on there as well.
I think the thing I love most about attending these types of events is remembering that authors are not super-humans who pump out these perfect drafts that are then published. They have the same fears and criticisms and shit drafts and anxieties that I do. And still, they write the books. They write these books that I get to read and love.
If nothing else, it’s incredibly helpful to put yourself around people who are doing what you want to be doing; to recognize their inherent humanity, of course, but also to allow them to expand your definition of what’s possible.
Ambition Monster, Jenn Romolini: I think I was expecting Ambition Monster to be more “self-help” with a sprinkling of memoir — it was definitely the other way around, and I’m so glad I was wrong. Jenn’s story — her childhood growing up as the first kid of teenage parents, her toxic early partnerships and dalliances, her hard-scrabble crawl into media and corporate worlds who weren’t particularly welcoming of people with her background — is compelling, and her way of writing about it all even more so. There’s a lot of difference between my own life story and Jenn’s, but I connected so deeply with seeking validation, proof of your worth, a brief pat on the back through your work; through new titles and accolades and salaries that tell the world you’re better than they think you are — than you think you are — before finding out the only validation worth getting is an inside job. (Pun intended!)
I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This (But I’m Going to Anyway) by Chelsea Devantez: I know Chelsea through a friend and I’ve been following her on Instagram for years, so I expected this book to be hilarious — it was and it was heart-wrenching. I cried multiple times reading it and felt really connected to Chelsea’s stories of career ambition, friendship heartbreak, her relationship with her mom, and some relatable daddy issues. It’s a quick read with a lot of humor, heart, and depth, and I suspect most women existing in the world today will find at least part of their experience reflected back to them in these pages.
I’m Just Here to Enjoy Myself by Glynnis MacNicol: I mentioned in the last And Also! Extras that I was reading Glynnis’ first book in the run-up to the release of this one. I’ll admit I have one critique of this book — and it’s that I wish there was more sex! I wanted to read a lot more about the carnal enjoyment alluded to in every plot summary I read about this book. And yet, I still loved this one because Glynnis’ definition of “enjoyment” is so much broader than my wanton brain had allowed for in my anticipation — and, as in her last book, she deftly intertwines her own experience with research and references to place, history, and IRL characters that all support the general thesis: Women should be allowed to enjoy themselves . . . just for the sake of enjoying themselves, and in whatever form(s) that pleasure may take. I got a lot of enjoyment just out of reading Glynnis’ words and living vicariously through her experience of summer in Paris post-pandemic lockdown — and all of the inherent pleasure that comes with that.
Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe: I’m having trouble articulating just how much I loved this book and why, so I’m going to keep it simple: This book is so creative — so fresh in its concept and writing. This book is also so tender; I teared up multiple times. And this book feels incredibly real — okay, some parts seem a little fantastical, but the characters are so well fleshed out and relatable that I felt I was reading about some real friends (and some real enemies!!). This is one of those books I wish I could immediately read again for the first time.
Learn more about the history of Juneteenth (which is today!), and why Black Americans have been celebrating this significant day in history for decades.
I have exactly six months left until I turn 40, and for a lot of reasons I am still parsing out and processing, it feels like my most significant birthday to-date. I’m very into personal essays reflecting others’ experiences of milestone birthdays, like this one from Ashley Simpo: “I turned 40 and waited to feel old but felt free instead.”
Jacqueline Novak on the Bright Side podcast. You know how I feel about Jacqueline! (Read “Things That Piqued My Interest” HERE if you forgot.)
Inclusive storytelling is my day job (yes, I am very lucky), so I loved learning about this new tool to help everyone do this good work: Story Spark.
What Maddie Read is one of my favorite bookstagrammers and her (FREE!) 2024 Summer Reading Guide is so thorough, beautifully designed, and thoughtfully considered.
This incomplete list of platonic soulmates is so sweet, and made me swell with gratitude at my own good fortune — I’ve got every single soulmate on this list. 💛
And last but not least, this reminder:
One last reminder: If you want to join our first And Also! Workshop — and any future workshops! — sign up to become a paying subscriber of And Also!
For just $5/month (or $50/year), you’ll get regular access to live workshops (and recordings) on topics such as setting goals that stick, how to craft a consistent creative process, moving through big change with more ease, and a whole lot more 🤓
Hope to see you Sunday!